Everyone likes the notion of being
forever young, and in my book being 17 for life is the ultimate ideal of being
forever young. At 27 years old, I walked into a whole new world of 18 year
old's. Against my demons, against the so-called and self perceived odds, I turn
back the clock even if I can't do it literally. But in my world, I find it hard
to distinguish between reality and my version of it. Or rather, I selectively
choose to live in a world of my own where I find the happiness that the
material world of Iphones and Ipads or whatever "I's" couldn't offer
me.
Now, I never was a fan of tech gadgets although I'd find it convenient and fun to own one of those. Will I even bother spending my precious savings (if I actually have any left!) on these things that would be outdated in no time? Yeah, a year, maybe two? Two years would be EXTREMELY unlikely I believe! Now, going back to college at this age... Is it really an advantage? Do I really have the edge over my younger classmates? Well, this is how I'd put it;
Now, I consider it an "edge"
if this is my second diploma or maybe I've had quite a success in my close to 9
years of working life. But the only success I've had is the discovery of self,
the enlightenment (one that is wondrous yet painful in many ways), some rude
awakening. I had many rude awakenings and as painful as they are, they shaped
me into this seemingly unbreakable entity I am today.
10 years ago after I left high school, I
went into college like most would. Like any average Joe's and Jane's out there
I had the same hopes, aspirations and dreams. Or rather one that is similar...
But little do I know it was just the half step to a whole new beginning. And it
sure took half my life to realize that I've been carrying a persona that never
was the real me. My upbringing groomed me to become what I never was the the
environment that I lived all my life was never kind to me after all.
At times, I wish my blog will be about
the great times I've had with my family or friends and this is not to say I
didn't have such times in my life. Just that, it really ain't enough for
me to talk about it, seriously and I never had the privilege of being an
average Joe. I was taught to take pride in myself, no matter how misunderstood
I will be, I should never let what people think make me become any less of my
true self. After all, I've always said, "Never be a carbon copy of someone
else, no matter how great they may be".
Who can say that this is not
right? I mean, do we really want to hear people say you are just a copycat of
this guy or that guy because you are so unoriginal? Last thing I'd do is having
a persona by ripping off of others, and I don't care how great or admirable he
may be! Life taught us our persona, and for me I know I have one that may not
be all that pleasant to the masses.
But in a way, life has transformed me
somehow, even though I do have some of my inborn qualities still and I am proud
to say that it didn't make me change the way I am just because I tend to appear
to be more unpopular. But this is where the thrill of the fight is, and what
fight is greater than life itself? I wouldn't know, if one has to insist there
is a harsher battle out there than life itself, the only answer acceptable in
my book? DEATH...
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