What's with inspiration? It comes and go just like that, and sometimes little explanation exist as to why it even happen. The thing is, you come to a juncture in life where you don't feel like doing anything, like literally. What do you do to regain the hunger and inspiration and motivation you once had? Back then, when you have the will to do everything right, sometimes striving for perfection even though perfection is usually just an illusion that drives people to thrive in something even if it seems so bleak and near impossible to do it.
I haven't feel that inspired at all, and sometimes darkness just pour in, reflecting the pains of the past that you try so hard to forget or at least ignore even if it will not leave you alone, not for good. But when the surroundings are no longer driving you to move on and overwhelm the odds, you just feel like it's already over for you. Like you don't want it no more, yet knowing you can't afford not to face it knowing it's all waiting for you. The consequences, which you know you will regret.
I keep living in the past, those days when everything has its magic, sometimes even in the simplest of things. Today, it all seems lost. Like it doesn't mean much, or nothing at all. The 80's and 90's still live in me, so much so I feel like I am still living in those times when they are long gone. Reminiscing these moments is beautiful, as in the emotions that it bring you. But the difference is, it's a constant reminder of how glorious it used to be and how terrible it is now.
Music, has been my lifelong companion from the moment I hear the first tune playing, perhaps some nursery rhymes or something like that, and now I am supposed to live with the fact that music has become so corrupted and lame. We have songs that go platinum, enjoy heavy airplay and yet it is just plain terrible. Unspeakably terrible. Words are never sufficient to describe how terrible it is, for real. Knowing the consequences of not doing something, yet can't be moved to actually do it, I have to blame it on depression, a feeling of being incapable.
I keep living in the past, those days when everything has its magic, sometimes even in the simplest of things. Today, it all seems lost. Like it doesn't mean much, or nothing at all. The 80's and 90's still live in me, so much so I feel like I am still living in those times when they are long gone. Reminiscing these moments is beautiful, as in the emotions that it bring you. But the difference is, it's a constant reminder of how glorious it used to be and how terrible it is now.
Music, has been my lifelong companion from the moment I hear the first tune playing, perhaps some nursery rhymes or something like that, and now I am supposed to live with the fact that music has become so corrupted and lame. We have songs that go platinum, enjoy heavy airplay and yet it is just plain terrible. Unspeakably terrible. Words are never sufficient to describe how terrible it is, for real. Knowing the consequences of not doing something, yet can't be moved to actually do it, I have to blame it on depression, a feeling of being incapable.
There is nothing more painful than knowing what could have been, and at the same time knowing that you can't do nothing about it. I dwell a lot in the past, and as much as I try not to, I just can't stop that. If I were to be a teenager again, there are just so many things that I would do differently. I wonder how many times have I said this personally, and in a way, publicly. Ain't it true? I mean, I am not much of a positive thinker, and in a way, I know I would have been an extremely positive person today.
A double-edged sword actually, only difference is that I am gonna be on either extreme, nowhere in between. People like to overromanticize their lives, maybe because they are bored of their mundane lives or something and so they like more drama, creating more "emo moments" when in actuality there ain't nothing so much of a big deal. Damn, sometimes I find whiners annoying, particularly when something is so petty yet they talk as though they are facing a catastrophe!
A lof of young people's lives are much easier than before, it's just too bad they don't realize that, if only they have lived in my shoes and in my era they will know how blessed they are in comparison to most who lived in the past eras, I mean, even if they know I doubt they'd appreciate it, not much or maybe not at all. But what can I say? "Generation gap" it is, I suppose. People no longer appreciate hard talks if that's how it's called or what. It's too much about apperances now.
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