It occurs to me, that some people just won't ever learn. Ask a 12 year old kid to draw out a family portrait and most would draw a happy family with the mama and papa smiling, and maybe the kids will be playing and all that. Yet for some people, raising three kids and in their 60's, never quite learn what a family is. They think that family is a bunch of blokes and babes together under one roof who dines and watch TV together and occasionally go on an outing. Well, REALLY? Now, if that's a family when I guess I got a plenty of them don't I? Or could it be the difference lies in whether they are blood related or not?
So there is little wonder why I find more contentment with people whom I am not related to or in cute animals because they can bring much more comfort than your so called "family members". It's sad, really. Because most people have a happy family to cling on to, where the roof they live under; the place they call "HOME". But for me, the only place I can truly call home is for now, the college library. I mean, where else do I find solace? At home? In my bedroom maybe. It's a shame, because I was born a Taurus and Taureans love family and all that. But for me, family is nothing but the people I was raised with.
Sad, because I hate to label family that way and I know by heart that's not it. But that's what it is for me, and yes, people can judge me without knowing my journey, without really knowing what I have been through. I may say that they will not last in my shoes, and I know most didn't. I mean, if family is the only issue I have then I will be more content than ever. The place where most people would find their comfort and solace is where I dread being at, and yes, the only reason I am in this living room is the existence of this computer here! Now, I have no idea if they will ever change but I rather assume they won't.
After all, I have understood just how short life is. I am now living with the assumption that I may not have long to go even though I am barely old enough to actually say that. For a man at 27, I feel like I have been through what a lot of people 10 years (or older!) older than I am had been through. So again, I am old by mind, physically I am as old as my age suggests. But by heart, I guess I am young and forever will be despite the circumstances life has brought me into. So even if I am gonna die young, I guess I have no more new regrets now. Somehow, I like to believe I am still trying to outlive any regrets from yesterday.
I transcend the hardships in my life through my visionary world, one that is beyond the comprehension of most. I like quotes a lot, and one of them says, "Don't judge my life if you have not walked my journey." There is so much truth in this, but people don't know or just couldn't care less because it is always more convenient to pass judgement than to try to comprehend or even imagine being in someone else' shoes. Most people, no matter how bad they think their school life is or how terrible their relationship is, they still have a family to cling on to. Yet, do I really have one? Oh well, physically maybe. But I hardly think it matters.
No matter how brief my time on Earth will be, still I am making the best that I have and to live as meaningfully as I could even if it is filled with hardship. But it is through hardships that people are defined, not through the good times for the bad times or perhaps, the WORST will bring out the best in someone. Or it can break someone, completely! And I guess, being one stubborn S.O.B I refused to yield still, no matter how harsh it is. And part of me tells me it's gonna be even harsher. And of course, who else will stand by my side but my own shadow?
So there is little wonder why I find more contentment with people whom I am not related to or in cute animals because they can bring much more comfort than your so called "family members". It's sad, really. Because most people have a happy family to cling on to, where the roof they live under; the place they call "HOME". But for me, the only place I can truly call home is for now, the college library. I mean, where else do I find solace? At home? In my bedroom maybe. It's a shame, because I was born a Taurus and Taureans love family and all that. But for me, family is nothing but the people I was raised with.
Sad, because I hate to label family that way and I know by heart that's not it. But that's what it is for me, and yes, people can judge me without knowing my journey, without really knowing what I have been through. I may say that they will not last in my shoes, and I know most didn't. I mean, if family is the only issue I have then I will be more content than ever. The place where most people would find their comfort and solace is where I dread being at, and yes, the only reason I am in this living room is the existence of this computer here! Now, I have no idea if they will ever change but I rather assume they won't.
After all, I have understood just how short life is. I am now living with the assumption that I may not have long to go even though I am barely old enough to actually say that. For a man at 27, I feel like I have been through what a lot of people 10 years (or older!) older than I am had been through. So again, I am old by mind, physically I am as old as my age suggests. But by heart, I guess I am young and forever will be despite the circumstances life has brought me into. So even if I am gonna die young, I guess I have no more new regrets now. Somehow, I like to believe I am still trying to outlive any regrets from yesterday.
I transcend the hardships in my life through my visionary world, one that is beyond the comprehension of most. I like quotes a lot, and one of them says, "Don't judge my life if you have not walked my journey." There is so much truth in this, but people don't know or just couldn't care less because it is always more convenient to pass judgement than to try to comprehend or even imagine being in someone else' shoes. Most people, no matter how bad they think their school life is or how terrible their relationship is, they still have a family to cling on to. Yet, do I really have one? Oh well, physically maybe. But I hardly think it matters.
No matter how brief my time on Earth will be, still I am making the best that I have and to live as meaningfully as I could even if it is filled with hardship. But it is through hardships that people are defined, not through the good times for the bad times or perhaps, the WORST will bring out the best in someone. Or it can break someone, completely! And I guess, being one stubborn S.O.B I refused to yield still, no matter how harsh it is. And part of me tells me it's gonna be even harsher. And of course, who else will stand by my side but my own shadow?
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